Funny Love Quotes
There is a place you can touch
a woman that will drive her crazy.
Her heart.
I recently read
that love is entirely
a matter of chemistry.
That must be why
my wife treats me like toxic waste.
You can't put a price tag on love,
but you can on all its accessories.
Love doesn't make
the world go round.
It makes the ride worthwhile.
You can't buy love on eBay.
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are
so many books on how to do it?
Love: Two minds
without a single thought.
Virginity is like a bubble,
one prick and its all gone.
I married the first man I ever kissed. When I tell this to my
children,
they just about throw up.
Gravitation can not be
held responsible
for people falling in love.
Think of love as a card game:
first, get rid of the jokers,
throw away the hearts,
keep the diamonds...
then try to get a king.
Marriage marks
the end of many short follies
- being one long stupidity.
Nobody will ever win
the battle of the sexes.
There’s too much
fraternizing with the enemy.
An archeologist
is the best husband
any woman can have;
the older she gets,
the more interested he is in her.
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
Women are like ovens
-it takes time for them to get warmed up.
Men, on the other hand,
are like microwaves
-you push one button,
and they're ready to go!
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